There is only time for love

Sometimes I think I get lost in the day to day, the coming and going. the losing and finding. In doing so I fail to realize that love is the only thing that really matters in life. I followed a blog for a while at 65redroses.livejournal.com. Eva posted her good bye video about a year ago. This video taught me that while becoming aggravated is natural and a given in life, time is of the essence. She taught me that there is only now, so say what you feel and love as much as possible. To do as much as possible, with a sense of urgency.

In a few days I will turn 28. It's time to expand my circle of friends. While I am a friendly person, I generally only socialize with a few people, the rest of my aquaintances saying "Oh someday we will have to do....." But then life goes on, and I don't or the person and I don't. I want this to be the year I expand my life. Go out more often, resisting my urge to give in and nap on the couch. I also would like to job-search effectively. It's time to move on. For one thing, the uniform I wear to work is ugly and for another, I'm not being my best self by staying in a place where I won't grow.

It's time for more.

How I got my laptop down the stairs

1. Put the laptop on the ground

2. Sit on top step

3 Put my laptop on my lap

4.. Lower myself down the stairs sitting down

Times like these, although they remind me I have cerebral palsy, just show me how resourceful I can be.

Ideas for products for people with disablities

• Easy button shirts and pants
  
• adaptable Make-up tools
• fashionable shoes that are soft yet supportive
  
• Equipment that eases lifting and pouring for cooking
• Software that corrects handwriting and spacing
  
• Binders and folders that make it easy to put papers in, and take them out
• Mandatory accessibility for gyms and health clubs
• Dentists and Orthodontists that are familiar with the dexterity issues of the hands and fingers.
• Exercises in magazines that everyone can do
  
• Validation that the experience of having a disability is not quite the same as not being good at sports or math, and actually having a disability is different from having worked with people with disabilities.
• 
  
• I don't want to feel like I must pretend CP isn't there.
• 
  
• True fairness. What I mean by that is, instead of saying a workplace would not give me a set schedule for me to be able to schedule the bus because it would be unfair to everyone else, a workplace would recognize that I need to schedule the bus because I cannot drive, walk to work, or use a regular city bus, not just because I feel like it.
  

Why I never thought I would blog

I never thought I would blog because I don't think of myself as an extraordinary person. I'm just a petite gal from a big family in suburban Connecticut working at a supermarket. I'm not particularly neat or artistic, or mathematically inclined.
But here I am, because I feel there is a place for me, even though I don't stick out as someone who is really great at one thing or another. I like to write and I'm really great at being human. I try to never mispronounce or misspell someone's name, remembering their favorites, (For example, my niece loves cucumbers, my nephew loves the color orange, and a friend at work loves the Atlanta Braves because at age 11 she saw them on TBS and loved the colors.) I'm always asking if anyone needs a snack or drink at work, as I don't want anyone to be hungry or thirsty and it is totally possible to only bring money for say, a drink but then you are really hungry on your break.
I have been through some experiences some people have not because of cerebral palsy. I've had surgery, I've experienced general anesthesia, I've learned to walk a few times. But I have also rocked at Spanish, stunk at math, became decent with Math, passed tests on the first try and had to retake a test. I've won awards, I've been overlooked. I've been strong at work and I have cried from frustration and not even felt bad about it.
I'm here and I may not be 100% inspirational all the time, but I have a voice that can speak to a lot of people.
I want to start using this 'voice' more as I blog.

Difficulties

The hardest thing about cerebral palsy is that 1) Ordinary tasks that don't look hard are hard for me. Opening a cereal box for example, requires careful effort, but usually I do not put forth this effort as I hungrily rip the flaps on the box.
Pouring drinks: If a jug seems heavy, it's hard for me to pour it, or my wrist shakes with the effort. Luckily, my younger brother is happy to oblige.
Unwrapping coins of change: Bang against the side of the tray? No thank you, this causes the change to go everywhere, causing more sorting to occur, and so I carefully unwrap the rolls and may leave the paper in the drawer.
2) I may have worked really hard but it does not seem so. Sometimes looking at my workstation I may look like a hot, careless, mess. But maybe it was busy and I was having trouble putting all of the tenders in the teeny slot. Sometimes it feels as though I cannot try harder, don't ask me to, I can't do it. And I don't like to say I can't try harder but I suppose what I really would like is for some understanding.