I should have said No Thanks, or that I am 13

A number calls my house every day. So I decided to pick it up and they tell me I am getting a Boston Globe This Easter. mmKay. Then I have to talk to the supervisor and all of a sudden I am being signed up for a paper that is five dollars a week. Something about the Sunday coupons! I don't even clip coupons, as I can never find anything that I want to use, and am not swift with scissors. I am not even head of the household, really. I am what you would call at times "The only one home in the household." What is it with subscribing people to Newspapers, after telling you that they are sending you the paper this Sunday and to look it over? I probably won't read it. People don't have money these days to just give to newspapers they will not read because they were sneakily signed up for them. And to think I could have just said no to the fact I was over 18 (Actually that would have been so 11 years ago.....but it would have been worth it.) and avoided the whole thing.

Would I want to change the fact I have CP?

I have considered this question, and the answer is no, because right now it's not possible, and because overall, I am happy with who I am. A lot of the decisions are made for me. I know my limits and I know my choices and so in some ways my life is simpler. Also I believe the choice that I make is to focus on what I have rather than what I do not have not just for optimism but for my sanity. I can't think about what could have been because the fact is, I wasn't born full term, I wasn't compliant with an exercise program when I was younger, and I was more afraid to try new things. The only aspect of my life I can change is to make life the way I want it now, and now that I am thinking of that fact of life I think it's the same whatever a person is facing in life.

Dare I?

Dare I look into the bare places of my life instead of

focusing on the thriving overgrowth of love?

Linger in that emptiness for more than say a second

to focus on what I really want

that I don't already have?

Dare I want, dream, envision a life not with a register,

an apron, paper, plastic or reusable bags?

Without regard for missing my favorite tv show if I socialize

Escaping the familiarity of the IM and the email?

Yes

Time to Dare

Cute?

So, I don't have a picture on here, but I have been called "cute" many times. It's just the look I have I suppose? So I'm visiting my Grandma in a rehabilitation facility, an the CNA passing by said "Oh she is so cute!" I said, "Who me?" Yes, she was talking about me, but it made me think. It didn't feel particularly good, positive. Might as well have called me a baby. And I don't want to seem ungrateful but it's not even like I had my hair in pigtails, my hair was done and I had makeup on. So sure, I was with my grandma, and I tend to fall into the cute role when I am with her. Maybe I always need to wear a business suit.

It's Poetry Month!

Dear six year old self
Your determination was amazing
I wish I could have told you then what I know now
Your smile lit up the world
And your strength, how you just
Told yourself to be strong
And not to cry
You sat there and you got blood drawn
Not a tear
But if I could go back and do it again
I would have rather cried
Expressed
Educated
Forced people to understand
But I am glad that my smile lit up the world
And it still does

A friendship that defies face-to face contact

When I was in high school, I started talking to teens online through the aol health boards. Then everyone from the CP boards grew up and we just didn't post as much but through these boards I received an email from a teenager, when I was 20 years old, asking if we could be pen-pals since my posts stood out to her.
And so I said OK. Seven years later, we are still each other's cheerleader. Through PT, through her high school and college and my graduate school years, we coached each other on. Remarkably,
We are both lefties. One of her siblings was born the same exact birthday as mine and her mother and I have the same birthday. She inspires me to give and I inspire her to be herself, and then because of that, I'm okay with myself too. I want to do more, more more because I know despite everything I have gone through I have a great life.
Thanks, Molls
Thanks for being you.

just wondering

If something happens, say a person is upset, and another person walks in and asks are you okay is it ever okay to say no?
How about if you fall down, is it okay to say no then too?