Instead of thinking "The way I am isn't good enough now so I have to change," or "I don't want to change because I'm happy with who I am" I need to build emotional endurance to be able to power through the times when I feel inferior. From a disease model, I needed to change because I was defective. In reality though, it's not about a radical change. It's loving myself enough to endure the hard times of personal and professional change to get through the other side. If I don't, I am saying no to myself, eliminating opportunities because of the negative tape that plays in my head. This movie shows me being in a meeting with a client and coming apart, or shutting down when I am supposed to advocate for someone. However, the opposite of this is understanding my emotions and learning to control them, and calmly asserting a professional version of myself. I can do all of this. The story I tell myself is wrong.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
A Rundown
Here's a little overview of me: On the inside and to those who know me...I'm educated, perceptive, knowledgeable, and friendly. But to people that have never met me before and see a woman sitting on a walker working at a grocery store, they think I am a consumer of an agency for persons with disabilities, because this person may run events for such an agency: f someone with a disability is bagging for me, they think "Oh there's a program that get's people jobs, how wonderful." (actual paraphrased comment from someone.) But here's the truth:
I do not have a job coach. I did not get this job thru an agency; far from the truth. I got my job at 16 in 1999 when someone was having people fill out applications. I figured Hey, I'll try it, what the heck. I didn't use a walker then, but I still had CP, of course. I was a kid who liked having her own money and enjoyed relating to people, and fought for acceptance. I knew how things should be and if something was wrong if I felt misunderstood, I communicated my concerns. I kept trying. Co-workers weren't always nice. Customers didn't understand. There was no advocate between myself and the store, just myself. Eventually as I opened up, I gained trust in some co-workers that helped me.
I stayed with the company thru high school and college, then left for graduate school, but found myself needing money and drifting in life between my internship and the start of student teaching. I called the store after applying online. I had an interviewed and was rehired, this time, I sat down when ringing.
I am sure there are more people with disabilities without job coaches. The assumption can't always be true that walker=agency, though I might use an agency to help advance my career. Maybe a person with a disability just took a chance. I am not a product of your agency's work, though your agency shows greatness throughout the community. What I ask is that society consider that I am a product of my own determination.
I do not have a job coach. I did not get this job thru an agency; far from the truth. I got my job at 16 in 1999 when someone was having people fill out applications. I figured Hey, I'll try it, what the heck. I didn't use a walker then, but I still had CP, of course. I was a kid who liked having her own money and enjoyed relating to people, and fought for acceptance. I knew how things should be and if something was wrong if I felt misunderstood, I communicated my concerns. I kept trying. Co-workers weren't always nice. Customers didn't understand. There was no advocate between myself and the store, just myself. Eventually as I opened up, I gained trust in some co-workers that helped me.
I stayed with the company thru high school and college, then left for graduate school, but found myself needing money and drifting in life between my internship and the start of student teaching. I called the store after applying online. I had an interviewed and was rehired, this time, I sat down when ringing.
I am sure there are more people with disabilities without job coaches. The assumption can't always be true that walker=agency, though I might use an agency to help advance my career. Maybe a person with a disability just took a chance. I am not a product of your agency's work, though your agency shows greatness throughout the community. What I ask is that society consider that I am a product of my own determination.
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