Construction

It's important for me to remember that when I feel like, progress-wise, I am hitting a brick wall, I can choose. I'm the one that built it, so I can take it down. I can build something else. Maybe a wall of shaving cream, or foam? Sometimes I want to use the eliptical for a few more minutes, but my body is giving out. Sometimes I am grateful I was able to use the eliptical at all, other times, I do have that yearning, that comparison, that feeling of awareness of what I won't have, that I'm different. Which makes no sense, because the "awareness" lurks vaguely. As in, I don't even know what I won't have, or what I'm missing. Or maybe it's because admitting these feelings embarasses me. I judge myself for them. But I don't have to. I have choices. It's not a slide into the abyss unless I build one.