When doctor's say "Be active":
I hear "Go do something you aren't good at in front of people you don't know"
When I hear others say "Your CP is so mild!/You can do so much!/Be Positive!
I hear: "You should be over this by now, it's old news, it's not a big deal"
A funny thing happens when I think of my health history by itself, my body by itself, without comparison to a more pronounced disability; I realize that even if a lot of people with CP have more issues than I do, even though I can walk and talk and my struggles are few globally speaking, and even if this fact might not make any sense; it's still difficult for me.
Just take my word for it.
My intuition tells me that I could go to psychotherapy or physical therapy for a hundred years and still have some days when life stinks
Because everyone does.
Because if the expectation is that I will get used to this some day, I have to change my expectations
Some things in life are just difficult, and their difficulty does not communicate the fact that I am not good enough, this difficulty tells me
that it's just hard. Not that I am less than or bad, or need work on issues,
Life is hard with the wanting and the trying and then maybe the results are meh
As easy as it looked for me to hey just go take gym with kids without disabilities and play sports, it wasn't that easy. I struggled with basic motor tasks and avoided feeling different at all costs.
As easy as my life looked for the doctors, as they didn't think I needed much therapy, I believed they didn't care, that I was in this on my own.
I felt like I didn't deserve a better life.
That I was "bad" at having CP
well maybe so but having to deal with CP as a kid is kind of "bad" too.
There, I said it.
A gift, perhaps, but one that teaches others more than myself
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