The Barriers

The greatest barrier I face in my job search may well be the fact that I already have been successfully employed for most of the past twelve years. I didn't really intend to be with the company that long, but bills need to be paid. Insurance needs to pay for physical therapy, or counseling, or whatever. And so then I become concerned with the day to day, the transportation getting to said job. After that, I figure I might as well enjoy my time at home before work so I read blogs and look at YOUTUBE, and chat with my sister.
Another barrier I face doesn't have a name. I don't know why it happens. When I become overwhelmed, my brain takes a break, and I zone out. Or sometimes I might seem reluctant to join in on a project, because I don't just jump right in. Something stops me from doing so. It's almost as if with other people, I don't feel as if I have enough "room" to think and formulate my thoughts, so I tend to just let other people take over. I'm not really sure what role to play in a project unless it is spelled out for me. (There are some reality shows where I'd never make it). These issues have made up a huge wall in my life that I cannot get past. I prefer written communication to any other form, because I can go back and delete what I don't want to say, and take time to phrase things as I like.
Has this ever happened to anybody else?
You make a statement
The receiver either makes a complete joke about the statement and starts loudly laughing HAHAHAHAHA
until you just say forget it.
Or, even worse, maybe, is perhaps when one asks a question and is greeted, without finishing a sentence, with some philosophical paragraph about how life is or what one needs to do, but this lecture wasn't even necessary, because the person wasn't assuming anything, she just wanted an answer to the question.
Or how about when a person says he or she will be available for you, but then doesn't deliver, and then lectures about how busy he or she is, and how I have to do things differently, etc.
Ok, no need for a lecture, it's just that you said you were going to do it, and if you can't that's fine, but turning it into a lesson of some sort really isn't necessary.