Thriving

       It's easy to forget, in daily life, that something amazing is happening. I see my parents about once a month, and I am not falling apart! (Wow) I'm realizing that I was independent all along- or as independent as my environment would allow me to be. (Sometimes, no way was I going up those stairs again.) I'm working at a different store wearing the same ridiculous outfit and although it is not the "home" that my old store was, the one where I grew up through high school and college, where I encouraged co-workers as they graduated from Western  and continued in life, it's okay. It has an elevator. (What is up with me escaping stairs all of a sudden?) I'm a lot of the time the neat, calm person I never knew was in there. I'm still my same emotional self, but I'm starting to see its purpose.       
       At the same time, life feels the same. I had this expectation that suddenly at a certain point everything would be AMAZING! I would be social, and outgoing, and accomplished! I would write that resume, find that job, write that book. I will. Just because I am not doing those things at this moment doesn't mean my life is not AMAZING! Maybe more so my life is amazing. Little things happen every day. I get tired, I become frustrated, I forget things, I drop things. I underestimate the difficulty of life and think that everything should be perfect by now and I should know everything. Months will go by and life will be hard, not due to lack of skill on my part, but because life just gets that way. Everyone's life has a different path. It's an individual journey with lessons to be learned independently. I try not to compare myself with other people, because my journey has been hard but everyone's "hard" is different. It's not about convincing yourself or anyone trying to convince you it isn't hard. It's about developing skills to get to the other side, and might I add being gentle to one's self in the process.