Last year on Facebook one of my best work friends posted an answer to a random question about me. It was "If they made a movie about Melissa, what would it be called?"
He answered "the girl that can't be stopped." I printed out that quote, I put it on my wall and when I moved I made sure I had it with me. Life is hard, for everyone, even a smiley Nike(tm)wearing optimist like me. When I graduated college, I didn't know what came next. I was overwhelmed. Now, though, even though I have not yet secured a paid social work position, I realized what my friend's quote meant. What is unstoppable is not my body, but my spirit. Still working at Stop and shop? No big deal, get through it! Make the best of it. I get up every day and I try to make it a good day.
But sometimes, because life is hard, and life carves out a path for us that is unknown in purpose and not chosen for ourselves, and so I do have a bad day. But I am learning how to feel. II've felt for years that I was running, at break-neck speed away from something. Even when talking to professionals I would avoid this issue, not really knowing what issue it was. I am finally staring at my struggle of self-worth in the face, after years of on one hand telling people my life was beautiful and on the other, hiding emotional pain I felt, how I felt at times alone, unable to express my frustration and sadness when I look back and think "I never rode a bike. Maybe I could have but I didn't because I didn't try hard enough." Now, I know I am no worse for wear seeing that I haven't ridden a bike, It's not a be all, end all life experience, but I file it under "Would have been nice." I didn't tell anyone that not driving bothered me, that I longed to be fast and neat and organized, all areas in need of work in my life, because I thought I was supposed to be"Over that". But I learned in some ways, getting over hard times completely represents an unfair expectation. Some things, like difficulties that will always be with me, aren't "Gotten over" but "worked through."
He answered "the girl that can't be stopped." I printed out that quote, I put it on my wall and when I moved I made sure I had it with me. Life is hard, for everyone, even a smiley Nike(tm)wearing optimist like me. When I graduated college, I didn't know what came next. I was overwhelmed. Now, though, even though I have not yet secured a paid social work position, I realized what my friend's quote meant. What is unstoppable is not my body, but my spirit. Still working at Stop and shop? No big deal, get through it! Make the best of it. I get up every day and I try to make it a good day.
But sometimes, because life is hard, and life carves out a path for us that is unknown in purpose and not chosen for ourselves, and so I do have a bad day. But I am learning how to feel. II've felt for years that I was running, at break-neck speed away from something. Even when talking to professionals I would avoid this issue, not really knowing what issue it was. I am finally staring at my struggle of self-worth in the face, after years of on one hand telling people my life was beautiful and on the other, hiding emotional pain I felt, how I felt at times alone, unable to express my frustration and sadness when I look back and think "I never rode a bike. Maybe I could have but I didn't because I didn't try hard enough." Now, I know I am no worse for wear seeing that I haven't ridden a bike, It's not a be all, end all life experience, but I file it under "Would have been nice." I didn't tell anyone that not driving bothered me, that I longed to be fast and neat and organized, all areas in need of work in my life, because I thought I was supposed to be"Over that". But I learned in some ways, getting over hard times completely represents an unfair expectation. Some things, like difficulties that will always be with me, aren't "Gotten over" but "worked through."
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