Life

I know everyone is different, but there are little differences about me that have changed my life experience.

I can't wear cute flats; they won't stay on my feet.

But out of necessity, I'm comfortable with who I am

I don't know why but in anything other than an athletic or plain T shirt I feel a need to change my clothes.

I don't feel comfortable expressing when I am in a lot of pain

But at least I know when I can't push myself anymore

As in, it's not possible

I have trouble using my hands sometimes

But it doesn't look like there is anything "wrong" with them, so I have to explain to others, at work, at a medical appointment, why it's hard.

Lame things hurt..

Like counting money for a long time (Think a lot of singles)

Or when the paper bags at work are sticking out from the shelf and poking me in the hip where I have had four surgeries.

Sometimes it seems like I am just complaining, but in reality I'm in pain and asking for help.

CP is a lot.......these little things add up to a lot and the pressure to stay positive can bear down on me.

Because I like to think of it as no big deal, I'm used to it.

Some days though I want to be able to have more endurance, to wear the cute shoes, to not be in pain over lame things or not have to express my pain at all as opposed to wanting pain to be understood.

At least I give life my best